Dance Hall Days

Today was a strange day for me, well, really it started last night. I had strange dreams throughout most of the night, and then I woke up with Wang Chung's Dance Hall Days stuck in my head. Hell if I know why - I bet I've heard that song 5 times in my life, and none of which postdate the 80's. Either way, it's been stuck in my head all day, it's currently playing in an attempt to get it out of my head.

Moving on - I promised the child that I would take her to a ghost town today, so this morning we went off to find it. We got lost in the process, but it was all for the best. While driving around I had a strange feeling about it all, because I'd been there before as a kid.

Now granted, that probably sounds strange but I've never gone back to a place I've already been. There's no particular reason, I just never have. Growing up we moved every few years - not nearly as often as other military families, but enough. I was in 5 schools by the time I hit fourth grade, and being around other military kids who moved a lot, there just wasn't a lot of social stability. Once I moved to a new place we never went back - so when I see something I can recall from childhood, it's almost a surreal feeling for me.

Well, today I landed in this ghost town, and surrounding areas, and knew I'd been there before - I have pictures of it. Since moving here I've gotten this a lot while out roaming certain areas. My grandparents lived in this area all the while I was growing up, so there were many trips here as a kid. But we moved back East over 20 years ago and didn't come back unless there was a funeral to go to. And even tho I've been in California for 10 years now, I never came to this area, not until I moved hear a year ago anyway.

I sometimes wonder how this has affected me - I have friends who moved all over the world and seem no worse for the wear, others who do the same things I do. I also know people who have lived in one place all their lives - in some cases for a few generations. I can't even imagine what that's like. On one hand I think, fuck - how boring is that? While on the other, I think it would be nice to feel so at home and familiar with a place. And I really don't have a place that feels like home, altho I am looking..

Perhaps this explains my need to hoard pictures and keepsakes from days gone by - I know I'll never be there again. At the same time, I find it easier that it probably should be to detach myself from things. But when I look at those pictures, I'm there all over again, like it just happened yesterday - I remember how I felt, the way it smelled, and everything that went on that day. The same goes for music, nearly any song I hear will be linked to a person, place or thing - when I hear it the emotions come back, good or bad, and it's like looking at a picture of myself.

So when I got home, I had to dig through my closet and look through all those boxes of keepsakes, letters and memories - good and bad. And now, as I look around, I realized I've trashed my living room and must put the memories back in their respective boxes. They're cluttering the place up.