Desperation is a bitch.

So I was killing time this morning - the bug man came to kill bugs in my building so kicked me out at 8 AM, and I had a date with a sexy pirate at 9:30 AM (savvy?).

Anyway, so I still had an hour to kill so I thought I'd waste time at McDonald's. Why McDonalds? Hell if I know, I hate them - but they have good McMuffins. So in I went, knowingly taking my life in my hands.

Now the type of loser you're dealing with in McDonald's really depends on the time of day that you visit. Now to be clear, this isn't about the young kids who work there - good for you, you're learning a little responsibility.. but I still don't trust you to cook my food.

Back on topic.. When you go to McD's in the morning, you get the career employees - you have to have some serious seniority to get opening shift. These people walk around with some sense of entitlement - like I should respect them for getting some position that allows them to feel better than the high school kids who work there. They feel important because "manager" is on their name tag. That's great if you're 20. When you're 35 it's fucking pathetic.

Anyway, so I go in there this morning and I want the two Sausage McMuffins for $3.00 - but I'm afraid of McD's meat, so I don't want the meat. But if I order two Egg and Cheese then they charge me six god damn dollars. So I explain this to the chick on the register and she thought that was brilliant, order two Sausage McMuffins, hold the sausage.

This sent 4 other people into a state of panic. "How can someone order Sausage McMuffins and hold the sausage?" "How do I make this?" "I don't understand!" And remember, these are the senior staff here, the youngest one there was well into his 30's. While they worked on figuring it out, they filled the three orders after mine - which did not make me happy. Finally they just did what the screen said and waited to see if I complained - I didn't.

Then I wandered over to a booth and grabbed a newspaper. Of course I can't read it because some stupid bitch on her break has sat her ass down three booths behind me, telling her friends about her trip to Sacramento. First she stopped at Carl's Jr. for food. Then she stopped at Jack in the Box to pee. Then she stopped at McDonald's to pee again. I don't know why she felt the need to share this with the entire dining room, but she did.

While I was sitting there pondering the amount of desperation, or sheer stupidity, that lead me into that horrible horrible place I noticed a couple flies. These flies, who love to sit and munch on shit all day were doing it on the top of the seat directly across from me. Well, I should say, I think they were doing it. I don't actually know what fly sex looks like, but I bet I have a good idea now.

No idea why I felt the need to share that, I just thought it was time to post again in this thing, and I have nothing especially awe-inspiring to dazzle you with - so you get McDonald's retards and fly sex. My day did turn around tho - Pirates of the Carribean was good - altho they could have stopped after "But WHY is the Rum gone?!" joke. Some of the jokes were forced and corny - but who cares, Depp is a fucking babe.