Desperation is a bitch.

So I was killing time this morning - the bug man came to kill bugs in my building so kicked me out at 8 AM, and I had a date with a sexy pirate at 9:30 AM (savvy?).

Anyway, so I still had an hour to kill so I thought I'd waste time at McDonald's. Why McDonalds? Hell if I know, I hate them - but they have good McMuffins. So in I went, knowingly taking my life in my hands.

Now the type of loser you're dealing with in McDonald's really depends on the time of day that you visit. Now to be clear, this isn't about the young kids who work there - good for you, you're learning a little responsibility.. but I still don't trust you to cook my food.

Back on topic.. When you go to McD's in the morning, you get the career employees - you have to have some serious seniority to get opening shift. These people walk around with some sense of entitlement - like I should respect them for getting some position that allows them to feel better than the high school kids who work there. They feel important because "manager" is on their name tag. That's great if you're 20. When you're 35 it's fucking pathetic.

Anyway, so I go in there this morning and I want the two Sausage McMuffins for $3.00 - but I'm afraid of McD's meat, so I don't want the meat. But if I order two Egg and Cheese then they charge me six god damn dollars. So I explain this to the chick on the register and she thought that was brilliant, order two Sausage McMuffins, hold the sausage.

This sent 4 other people into a state of panic. "How can someone order Sausage McMuffins and hold the sausage?" "How do I make this?" "I don't understand!" And remember, these are the senior staff here, the youngest one there was well into his 30's. While they worked on figuring it out, they filled the three orders after mine - which did not make me happy. Finally they just did what the screen said and waited to see if I complained - I didn't.

Then I wandered over to a booth and grabbed a newspaper. Of course I can't read it because some stupid bitch on her break has sat her ass down three booths behind me, telling her friends about her trip to Sacramento. First she stopped at Carl's Jr. for food. Then she stopped at Jack in the Box to pee. Then she stopped at McDonald's to pee again. I don't know why she felt the need to share this with the entire dining room, but she did.

While I was sitting there pondering the amount of desperation, or sheer stupidity, that lead me into that horrible horrible place I noticed a couple flies. These flies, who love to sit and munch on shit all day were doing it on the top of the seat directly across from me. Well, I should say, I think they were doing it. I don't actually know what fly sex looks like, but I bet I have a good idea now.

No idea why I felt the need to share that, I just thought it was time to post again in this thing, and I have nothing especially awe-inspiring to dazzle you with - so you get McDonald's retards and fly sex. My day did turn around tho - Pirates of the Carribean was good - altho they could have stopped after "But WHY is the Rum gone?!" joke. Some of the jokes were forced and corny - but who cares, Depp is a fucking babe.

The next wave

I feel as tho I've stumbled into an excellent opportunity. Seven and a half years ago, in the midst of a life-altering experience - and more pain than I care to try and remember - came my little girl.

Of course, this happens thousands of times a day all around the globe, but many people take it for granted. People, especially women, don't always see the potential in these small creatures. The opportunities open to these girls, opportunities that their grandmothers, and perhaps even their mothers, didn't have just 20 - 50 years ago; opportunities that girls on the other side of the world still don't have.

The amount of potential harnessed in these girls is amazing - and talk about it all you want, when you see it with your own eyes, it will blow you away. That same potential that has been pushed back and covered up for centuries is now in your face and at the forefront. They no longer have to resign their lives to being dependent upon another, they can do for themselves. We have the opportunity to shape the lives of future generations, societal norms, and gender roles just in the way we raise our daughters.

It pisses me off when I see parents allowing their daughters to play into the stereotypical roles.. or worse, dress like little adults. For example, 14 year old girls should not be wearing shirts that say, "Guys like tig bitties" or shorts with "Juicy" plastered across the ass - and what kind of parent allows their daughter to leave the house like that? What kind of message are we sending our daughters when we consent to this type of behavior?

Use your heads, people. Raise your girls to be strong, educated and confident women. Don't allow them to be caught up in this superficial culture that objectifies their bodies before they are even done developing them. Promote academia and athletics over dieting and make-up. It is up to you to give them a foundation, one that will hold throughout their lives.

Looks fade, self-sufficiency and empowerment lasts.

Don't poke the... sheep?

So there's this guy who likes to hit the College Campuses up and down the west coast promoting his views on religion, or more specifically, Christianity. He always gains the attention of anyone walking by because of his signs, in fact he just might be Pat Roberts' little brother. His sign clearly showed what he thought of "porno freaks," rebellious women, homosexuals and Muslims. According to him, these groups all go against the Bible and should be punished. In the past, another sign he liked to wave compares aborted fetuses to the holocaust (the selective extermination of a specific group).

Now the first time he and his friends came to campus I missed them. I was pretty upset too; I would have loved to have been down there arguing with those fools. I was all ready to show them a 'rebellious woman' - however, I did not miss their presence yesterday. This time he came by himself, one lone little man to face the masses with only his sign (and Jesus) to protect him.
The minute I got to the "free speech" area I could tell exactly why he was doing this. If you preach to people, they will ignore you - especially on a college campus. If you say something to piss everyone off, well they're sure to argue with you.

So, how to get college kids discussing religion? Hmm.. How about telling them, God hates them all? Yes that's it, those retarded kids are sure to be manipulated right into it.. And guess what? They were.

This guy was using his apparent extremism to get 200 people pissed off and start preaching the word of God to each other. Really, you haven't experienced anything until you've seen a 21-year-old woman angrily screaming in another's face that God loves them. Humor at its finest.

I have to give the guy credit; I think he just might be an evil genius.

Upon leaving him and the angry mob, I made my way to my Civil Right/Civil Liberties class where everyone was talking about it. I offered my theory to them, that they were being manipulated into a religious discussion, but they chose not to listen. And despite the fact that the first half of the semester was on First Amendment Rights, they thought he needed to leave. One thing we did learn is that if your speech incites a riot, it can no longer go unchecked - so jokingly, they thought about going down to start a riot.

Either way, they guy's message is crap, people need to keep their religions to themselves - but the way he went about it must be commended. And the Sheep, well they continued to bleat, just a little louder, with more anger than usual.

Dance Hall Days

Today was a strange day for me, well, really it started last night. I had strange dreams throughout most of the night, and then I woke up with Wang Chung's Dance Hall Days stuck in my head. Hell if I know why - I bet I've heard that song 5 times in my life, and none of which postdate the 80's. Either way, it's been stuck in my head all day, it's currently playing in an attempt to get it out of my head.

Moving on - I promised the child that I would take her to a ghost town today, so this morning we went off to find it. We got lost in the process, but it was all for the best. While driving around I had a strange feeling about it all, because I'd been there before as a kid.

Now granted, that probably sounds strange but I've never gone back to a place I've already been. There's no particular reason, I just never have. Growing up we moved every few years - not nearly as often as other military families, but enough. I was in 5 schools by the time I hit fourth grade, and being around other military kids who moved a lot, there just wasn't a lot of social stability. Once I moved to a new place we never went back - so when I see something I can recall from childhood, it's almost a surreal feeling for me.

Well, today I landed in this ghost town, and surrounding areas, and knew I'd been there before - I have pictures of it. Since moving here I've gotten this a lot while out roaming certain areas. My grandparents lived in this area all the while I was growing up, so there were many trips here as a kid. But we moved back East over 20 years ago and didn't come back unless there was a funeral to go to. And even tho I've been in California for 10 years now, I never came to this area, not until I moved hear a year ago anyway.

I sometimes wonder how this has affected me - I have friends who moved all over the world and seem no worse for the wear, others who do the same things I do. I also know people who have lived in one place all their lives - in some cases for a few generations. I can't even imagine what that's like. On one hand I think, fuck - how boring is that? While on the other, I think it would be nice to feel so at home and familiar with a place. And I really don't have a place that feels like home, altho I am looking..

Perhaps this explains my need to hoard pictures and keepsakes from days gone by - I know I'll never be there again. At the same time, I find it easier that it probably should be to detach myself from things. But when I look at those pictures, I'm there all over again, like it just happened yesterday - I remember how I felt, the way it smelled, and everything that went on that day. The same goes for music, nearly any song I hear will be linked to a person, place or thing - when I hear it the emotions come back, good or bad, and it's like looking at a picture of myself.

So when I got home, I had to dig through my closet and look through all those boxes of keepsakes, letters and memories - good and bad. And now, as I look around, I realized I've trashed my living room and must put the memories back in their respective boxes. They're cluttering the place up.

The virgin entry

I have always been very anti-blog, I found it to be the epitome of egoism. What one must think of their self to assume anyone out in cyberspace gives a rat's ass about what they have to say. I mean, it's true - everyone has an opinion about everything. What makes mine more valid than your's?

Yet here I am, creating my very own blog for all to see. So have I lowered my standards and decided blogs aren't so bad? Have I finally reached full on narcissist? I don't know, stick around and see for yourself.

Welcome to the Footnotes.